castleramblings:

"I’m sorry Javi, it’s classified"

Forever chuckling at Espo in this scene. He used to eat classified for breakfast, you know.


fuck-benedict:

ok but real talk why do ppl even make viruses like yea congrats u ruined a huge part of someone’s life what did it gain u? an asshole award? good job buddy hope ur parents are proud 

(via nodaybuttodaytodefygravity)



stana katic + quotes | inspired by: x

(via becketts-areola)


draycen:

ccesamestreet:

spydercyde:

obsessionthenarglesmademedoit:

But why the last one thoughwhat am I not getting

I can’t breath…I have not laughed this hard in years 

Okay, quick story about the last one- I go to this school too, and the creative writing teacher is rad as hell (like the kind to give out free coffee on fridays)
After all of the kids have submitted their short stories, he reads them all for the first time to his two kids, who help him grade them, in a way.
One time, a girl wrote a story about a sheep, named Trixie, making her dream come true by moving to the big city to become an actress, a singer, or whatever (he was pretty vague on the description) 
She took a bus and a few trains and finally ended up in the ‘Big City’, where she tries to make her dream come true.
Now I dont remember the exact sequence of events that came next, but Trixie the sheep eventually ended up becoming a prostitute mid-sentence.
Our teacher didnt really realize this at the time, since it was his first time reading it, and to his kids he was caught completely off guard. And lets just say he had to explain a few new concepts to his kids that night..
And that’s why we can’t write any more stories about Trixie going to the Big City.

I lost my shit at 21

draycen:

ccesamestreet:

spydercyde:

obsessionthenarglesmademedoit:

But why the last one though
what am I not getting

I can’t breath…I have not laughed this hard in years 

Okay, quick story about the last one- I go to this school too, and the creative writing teacher is rad as hell (like the kind to give out free coffee on fridays)

After all of the kids have submitted their short stories, he reads them all for the first time to his two kids, who help him grade them, in a way.

One time, a girl wrote a story about a sheep, named Trixie, making her dream come true by moving to the big city to become an actress, a singer, or whatever (he was pretty vague on the description) 

She took a bus and a few trains and finally ended up in the ‘Big City’, where she tries to make her dream come true.

Now I dont remember the exact sequence of events that came next, but Trixie the sheep eventually ended up becoming a prostitute mid-sentence.

Our teacher didnt really realize this at the time, since it was his first time reading it, and to his kids he was caught completely off guard. And lets just say he had to explain a few new concepts to his kids that night..

And that’s why we can’t write any more stories about Trixie going to the Big City.

I lost my shit at 21

(via becketts-areola)


carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

charlesdutton:

my mom’s boyfriend is this 6’2 super buff macho dude with many facial piercings who enjoys death metal and i just came downstairs and found him crying because they had to put down a dog on animal cops

i like him

keep him

(via becketts-areola)


sheenaisapostrocker:

overtheunderpass:

there’s this car where i’m from, known pretty well by people as “the duck car” and i finally saw it and it beats every celebrity sighting 

image

image

dude

(via kissmecaskett)



mama-bird:

coffeeandklonopin:

coffeeandklonopin:

carpe diem - seize the day

carpe noctem - seize the night

carpe natem - seize the ass

Seriously, if you guys don’t stop reblogging this I am going to carpe someone’s neck and break it.

carpe collum - seize the neck

(via always-a-shipper)


(via fatticat)